Thank you for all this. There's so much I could say but I think we perhaps all understand each other anyway. What's been good for me is that this article, along with some other contact with ADHD friends has reassured me that it's not just me.
I do agree that we desperately need another name for this condition and that its benefits need to be recognised. I find it has more advantages than disadvantages but I do get fed up with other people seeing it as a 'deficiency' and a 'disorder'. I love the fact my mind (and life) is so full of detail and variety of interests, and knowledge and experience, and humour and love. I don't want to change it and if I'm honest, I sometimes feel a bit sorry for people whose world view and life experience are limited to a very narrow track in life.
Hi Peter! I agree with everything you say here and also we are not disordered, we just have different brain priorities that the status quo can't understand or accept. Ultimately the issue is a lack of acceptance by the majority group (aka the social model of disability). But as more of us become aware and share, we can help break that down. Thanks for commenting and sharing your thoughts!
I was diagnosed at the age of 58. I had always had difficulty with concentration. I first really became aware of my condition when I was studying for a Masters. I just could not read a paragraph without my mind running away. eventually I dealt with it by reading out loud.
What I am really interested in is what you say about rejection. it resonates heavily with me. I think that this is a wonderful project.
Hi Anthony! Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words. It will be valuable for many.
When we lose structure that is often when it becomes obvious that something else is at play. Doing a research masters or PhD is a good example. Basically when the organisational demands of our lives exceed our capabilities. It can also be when you have a baby, and for many women the hormonal changes in menopause exacerbate ADHD. I am so pleased that you finally got diagnosed and now have some clarity.
It is important to acknowledge different learning styles in education and different needs. Like you auditory is good for me, once I am interested in the topic! And also writing things out.
The emotional component of ADHD is not in the diagnostic manual. And so no one asks about it in diagnosis.
Additude is a very good resource generally and has a lot on this.
Fantastic article so well put and thought out. Having a son - now 43 who has had to deal with this condition all his life, I am just amazed to see from your compilation and explanations that this has been my life too!! Why have I never realised that before? So busy trying to help him that I never saw what he has gone through as a reflection of my own childhood and then adulthood. Maybe as a woman and being so much older, it never was recognised 'in my day'? I look forward to more postings from you.
Hi Anne! First of all, I am amazed that at no point did anyone explain to you that it was hereditary and therefore likely that either or both of the parents had ADHD. Secondly, ADHD in women IS different, and is very misunderstood. I plan to explain this thoroughly, and I hope it is helpful. It is never too late. It is common that parents are diagnosed after their kids and many women aren't diagnosed until middle age. Some parents can't accept it in themselves. Because of the stigma they see it as a weakness. It really isn't, there are many strengths. Now you can maybe look at your options too?
Hi Debra! I have indeed. He has some very interesting takes although I don't think any of them have crossed over here yet. I always knew I was different, I just never knew why. Now I do! :)
I have been a researcher on the condition for 40 years so I know that in my fathers family there are so many children with the syndrome, but then see that my sons father also is extremely ADHD but yet again, from my mothers side, her brothers family, my uncle have children with the syndrome which is now coming out in grandchildren with it being as severe as extreme autism. So not only is it hereditary, but what this is showing.. (and I'm still thinking about it all!!) is that it is so much more common than we ever thought, so therefore, where has it come from? In my sons case, and my own it could have come in from all three lines of his grandparents heritage. So is it recent or has it always been in the human being experience, but only now (past 50 years) being isolated and looked at in depth. The obvious cases being reviewed are people like Einstein, Branson, Justin Timberlake etc....many others who because of their fame, show up the condition as being a 'good thing'. Perhaps it has always been that and only in recent years, since my son was a child was it looked at as 'Bad' and needing to be controlled? Acceptance is the key word going forwards and take away the judegment and need to control it and trying to box it up into a normal range. Let it be what it is and ask.. "What can YOU do with this". The first step forwards would be for Education minister to realise that they need to have a different curriculum.. one that is based around their interest and what will serve them in the adult life, not make them study stuff they have absolutely no interest in and therefore cannot work at.
Hi Anne! Thanks for this comment. It is so interesting to hear from someone with your experience. I think the numbers of people with ADHD are far higher than acknowledged. I think it has always been in the human experience. We are important because we can adapt quickly, make changes, fix things, we see everything (every bloody rodent in my case). We create and we persevere. I also think there are a lot of people on the ADHD spectrum as it were, showing primarily the positive traits, and so never ever diagnosed. We only get diagnosed when it becomes a pathology or is extreme. I have seen this with friends whose children were diagnosed, and as we know it runs in the family. I think it will be really interesting to see this narrative accepted and to understand that this creative interest-led way of being is just difference. The social model of disability is what disables us. Neurotypical, or predominantly neurotypical people and children have their accommodations already build into society. Workplaces and schools are designed in every way to meet their needs. We only need accommodations because they don't meet ours, not because we are disabled (although this does depend on co-morbids and other issues, I fully accept). Acknowledging learning differences are key, and allowing children to study their strengths and interests, as you say.
Thank you very much for this article. I have known I had Dyspraxia since I was about 11, when it was quite newly acknowledged but my Mum was tenacious, however it's become really clear to me that ADHD is probably more significant. I've really struggled with emotional regulation, mostly with holding in my responses until I get home amd take it out on myself. I have a key role at work and a political role out of work, both of which I think were won through my ADHD creativity but are also terribly difficult because of my ADHD. I am struggling at the moment because the expectations have caught up with me and colleagues are dismissive and ableist about the things I find difficult. However, one of my interests is politics and activism, so I hope to challenge some of this going forward and advocate more for ADHD people getting the help we need to reach our considerable potential, instead of being seen as a promising disappointment.
Thank you for all this. There's so much I could say but I think we perhaps all understand each other anyway. What's been good for me is that this article, along with some other contact with ADHD friends has reassured me that it's not just me.
I do agree that we desperately need another name for this condition and that its benefits need to be recognised. I find it has more advantages than disadvantages but I do get fed up with other people seeing it as a 'deficiency' and a 'disorder'. I love the fact my mind (and life) is so full of detail and variety of interests, and knowledge and experience, and humour and love. I don't want to change it and if I'm honest, I sometimes feel a bit sorry for people whose world view and life experience are limited to a very narrow track in life.
Hi Peter! I agree with everything you say here and also we are not disordered, we just have different brain priorities that the status quo can't understand or accept. Ultimately the issue is a lack of acceptance by the majority group (aka the social model of disability). But as more of us become aware and share, we can help break that down. Thanks for commenting and sharing your thoughts!
I was diagnosed at the age of 58. I had always had difficulty with concentration. I first really became aware of my condition when I was studying for a Masters. I just could not read a paragraph without my mind running away. eventually I dealt with it by reading out loud.
What I am really interested in is what you say about rejection. it resonates heavily with me. I think that this is a wonderful project.
Hi Anthony! Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words. It will be valuable for many.
When we lose structure that is often when it becomes obvious that something else is at play. Doing a research masters or PhD is a good example. Basically when the organisational demands of our lives exceed our capabilities. It can also be when you have a baby, and for many women the hormonal changes in menopause exacerbate ADHD. I am so pleased that you finally got diagnosed and now have some clarity.
It is important to acknowledge different learning styles in education and different needs. Like you auditory is good for me, once I am interested in the topic! And also writing things out.
The emotional component of ADHD is not in the diagnostic manual. And so no one asks about it in diagnosis.
Additude is a very good resource generally and has a lot on this.
This is is a good podcast on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria from William Dodson https://www.additudemag.com/podcast-emotional-dysregulation-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-dodson/
This article also: https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/
A video on emotional dysregulation and ADHD https://www.additudemag.com/emotional-dysregulation-adhd-video/
I find William Dodson in general to be excellent. He acknowledges the deficits and strengths with knowledge, compassion and empathy.
I hope these help, and thanks for your comment!
Niamh
Fantastic article so well put and thought out. Having a son - now 43 who has had to deal with this condition all his life, I am just amazed to see from your compilation and explanations that this has been my life too!! Why have I never realised that before? So busy trying to help him that I never saw what he has gone through as a reflection of my own childhood and then adulthood. Maybe as a woman and being so much older, it never was recognised 'in my day'? I look forward to more postings from you.
Hi Anne! First of all, I am amazed that at no point did anyone explain to you that it was hereditary and therefore likely that either or both of the parents had ADHD. Secondly, ADHD in women IS different, and is very misunderstood. I plan to explain this thoroughly, and I hope it is helpful. It is never too late. It is common that parents are diagnosed after their kids and many women aren't diagnosed until middle age. Some parents can't accept it in themselves. Because of the stigma they see it as a weakness. It really isn't, there are many strengths. Now you can maybe look at your options too?
This is a good concise explainer on ADHD being hereditary / genetic https://www.additudemag.com/is-adhd-hereditary-yes-and-no/
Thank you for sharing. Have you read any of Dr. Daniel G. Amen’s work on ADD/ADHD?
I used to think everyone’s brain worked like mine. Apparently not. 🙄
Hi Debra! I have indeed. He has some very interesting takes although I don't think any of them have crossed over here yet. I always knew I was different, I just never knew why. Now I do! :)
Could literally have been written about me
I have been a researcher on the condition for 40 years so I know that in my fathers family there are so many children with the syndrome, but then see that my sons father also is extremely ADHD but yet again, from my mothers side, her brothers family, my uncle have children with the syndrome which is now coming out in grandchildren with it being as severe as extreme autism. So not only is it hereditary, but what this is showing.. (and I'm still thinking about it all!!) is that it is so much more common than we ever thought, so therefore, where has it come from? In my sons case, and my own it could have come in from all three lines of his grandparents heritage. So is it recent or has it always been in the human being experience, but only now (past 50 years) being isolated and looked at in depth. The obvious cases being reviewed are people like Einstein, Branson, Justin Timberlake etc....many others who because of their fame, show up the condition as being a 'good thing'. Perhaps it has always been that and only in recent years, since my son was a child was it looked at as 'Bad' and needing to be controlled? Acceptance is the key word going forwards and take away the judegment and need to control it and trying to box it up into a normal range. Let it be what it is and ask.. "What can YOU do with this". The first step forwards would be for Education minister to realise that they need to have a different curriculum.. one that is based around their interest and what will serve them in the adult life, not make them study stuff they have absolutely no interest in and therefore cannot work at.
Hi Anne! Thanks for this comment. It is so interesting to hear from someone with your experience. I think the numbers of people with ADHD are far higher than acknowledged. I think it has always been in the human experience. We are important because we can adapt quickly, make changes, fix things, we see everything (every bloody rodent in my case). We create and we persevere. I also think there are a lot of people on the ADHD spectrum as it were, showing primarily the positive traits, and so never ever diagnosed. We only get diagnosed when it becomes a pathology or is extreme. I have seen this with friends whose children were diagnosed, and as we know it runs in the family. I think it will be really interesting to see this narrative accepted and to understand that this creative interest-led way of being is just difference. The social model of disability is what disables us. Neurotypical, or predominantly neurotypical people and children have their accommodations already build into society. Workplaces and schools are designed in every way to meet their needs. We only need accommodations because they don't meet ours, not because we are disabled (although this does depend on co-morbids and other issues, I fully accept). Acknowledging learning differences are key, and allowing children to study their strengths and interests, as you say.
Thank you very much for this article. I have known I had Dyspraxia since I was about 11, when it was quite newly acknowledged but my Mum was tenacious, however it's become really clear to me that ADHD is probably more significant. I've really struggled with emotional regulation, mostly with holding in my responses until I get home amd take it out on myself. I have a key role at work and a political role out of work, both of which I think were won through my ADHD creativity but are also terribly difficult because of my ADHD. I am struggling at the moment because the expectations have caught up with me and colleagues are dismissive and ableist about the things I find difficult. However, one of my interests is politics and activism, so I hope to challenge some of this going forward and advocate more for ADHD people getting the help we need to reach our considerable potential, instead of being seen as a promising disappointment.